


Break Up is Impossible to do

by heatherlynn22



Series: Abby & Chris [1]
Category: Actor RPF, American Actor RPF, Chris Evans - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Relationship(s), Romance, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:49:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatherlynn22/pseuds/heatherlynn22
Summary: Abigail Spencer wakes up after an eventful night and tries to figure out the current state of her relationship





	1. Break Up Sex?

 

* **Disclaimer:** Obviously this is strictly a work of fiction. I do not personally know any of the people mentioned.

 

Abigail Spencer was not a morning person. She would do pretty much anything to get a few more minutes of sleep. Even if she got away with pressing the snooze button a few more times, she didn’t consider herself a full fledged human being until halfway through her second cup of coffee.

This morning was the exception to the rule.

Before she had completely woken up, she could feel a heavy male arm draped over her waist. A feeling of complete contentment washed over her and a big smile involuntarily stretched across her lips. She felt a strong hopeful peace fill her heart before she even opened her eyes.

Christopher was still here. He hadn't left her in the middle of the night.

She looked up at the ceiling then slowly rolled her head to the side. She pressed her chin to her shoulder to get a better look at him.

The bright morning Californian sun was pouring into her room and illuminated his features and made her heart swell. He was sleeping on his stomach, but had his head turned towards her. He snored softly, every few breaths, and that only made her smile grow larger.

She loved his unique snore. It was part snore, part mumble and, in their 6 months together, she has always meant to record it for him.

She loved to watch him sleep. His eyelashes were insanely long and fanned out across his cheeks. Eyelashes so thick and beautiful were completely wasted on men. She resisted the urge to run her fingertips over them, they were so fluffy, just like his beard.

As gorgeous a male specimen as he was, he always looked like a small innocent child when he slept.

He let out another mumble snore and she tried not to giggle and wake him. Abby was suddenly hit by a wave of sadness when she realized that she may never hear it again.

Last night was just break up sex, right?

His full lips were pouty and slightly parted as he slept. They looked extra red and plump after the night they'd had together. They'd kissed each other with such passion and aggression that there had been times it was hard for her to breathe.

After everything she put him through during dinner, he'd spent the night trying to prove that they were right for each other. It hadn't felt like break up sex. It hadn't felt like a goodbye. It had felt like they were trying to hold on to each other. There had been times when she didn’t know where he ended and she began.

Did she imagine that? She pressed her own swollen lips together and felt a ghost of a sting.

She continued to study his sleeping face and tried to sort through the war going on inside her. She squeezed her eyes shut as her head and her heart continued to scream two very different things at her.

Her head was making the case for a clean break. Just RUN ABBY! Christopher's life wasn't something she would ever get used to. The world didn’t know about her yet; she should just cut her losses and consider herself lucky.

But laying there, watching him sleep, pulled on her heartstrings on a deeper level than what she was used to. He got her. He mattered to her. Christopher was right, they are good together. What if leaving him was a giant mistake?

She let out a long deep breath and hoped that he would sleep a lot longer. She still wasn’t quite sure what to say to him. After he'd brought her home from their dinner date, they'd given into their desires and let their bodies communicate where all of their angry words had failed them. It had been raw, primal and aggressive; her body was still achy in all the right places as a reminder. She wasn’t sure if there was anything else to say.

When it was just the two of them, their connection was so strong it was impossible to ignore. It made her forget all of her reservations about his fame and everything that came with it.

When they were alone together, there was no hiding from the press, no multi million dollar contracts, no lurking paparazzi, and no judgement from the world. All she saw was the beautiful meatball standing in front of her.

She wondered what he was dreaming about. After the events of the previous night, she hoped that he was okay. He hadn't taken her trying to end their relationship very well.

He had been furious and desperate to hold on to her. She had never seen him like that before. There was a large part of her that was furious with herself as well. All she wanted was him. Just Christopher. Not _“Chris Evans Captain America”_. She wished that she wasn't such a chicken shit. But the spotlight was never something she wanted. In fact, she tried to avoid it at all costs.

It was only a matter of time until the whole world knew her name. What would that do to her career? What would that do to her family? The thought of hurting her family freaked her out and kept her up at night. She tried to ignore the voice coming straight from her heart that tried to convince her that Christopher was worth the risk.

He made her happier than she had any right to be. That was a resounding unwavering fact that she couldn’t downplay, no matter how scared she was.

She studied his beautiful face and tried to memorize every single line and freckle. She may never have the chance to see him like this again. She had to prepare herself for the worst. Maybe last night was break up sex to him? There was a good chance that he didn’t want her now anyway.

And yet, after all the yelling and emotional pain they went through the night before, he was still there beside her. That had to be a good sign, right? He had vehemently tried to convince her to give them a chance. Maybe he was right and he still felt had feelings for her?

If she was honest with herself, she didn’t know what she wanted. Everything was a mess. The only thing she knew for sure was that she didn’t want to hurt him. Hurting him, of all people, would be too much for her to bare.

She had witnessed people all around him use him for their own superficial gain. It amazed and infuriated her that so many people never bothered to look past the charming celeb mask he put on for their sake. They got what they wanted and didn’t bother to look deeper.

Abby, like his family and few chosen friends, knew that the man behind the mask was worth so much more than “Captain America.” It felt like a waste for her not to cherish him. Seeing people dismiss the real him day after day made her protective of him. She was honored that he let her in and showed her the real man behind the celebrity. Still, she never felt worthy.

But she cursed herself for getting so attached. A broken person like her should know better than to think that a long term relationship was going to end in anything less than heartbreak for everyone involved. As much as she cared about him, she always seemed to destroy the things that mattered the most to her.

What had she been thinking? One date had turned into two. Flirty text messages had turned into phone conversations that lasted till the sun came up. Suddenly, they were monogamous and spending all of their free time together. Before she'd known what was happening, they met each other families and had toothbrushes and spare drawers at each other’s places.

She'd ignored all of the issues that came with dating a celebrity like Chris Evans and had given into to his beautiful smile and puppy dog eyes. His energy was so infectious. She couldn’t help, but get swept away. At the time, it had all felt so right.

Now, six months later, here they are. He'd been so insistent when they met. He convinced her that all of her preconceived notions about all actors being shallow players were wrong. She gave him a chance and had discovered that he was right. In fact, the more that she'd gotten to know him, she realized that there was really nothing average about him at all.

The way he had pleaded with and tried to convince her to give them another chance filled her heart with sadness. What in the world did a man like him see in her? Abigail Spencer. She was no one compared to him. Whether he was rich and famous or not. She’d still wonder why he'd chosen her. But he wanted her, that much was made loud and clear as they'd argued and fucked for hours last night. 

But what if it was just break up sex? What would life look like now without him in it?

She couldn’t get the image out of her head of his blue eyes filling with pain as they fought in their private romantic VIP dining room. Her pulse started to race and her chest tightened and filled with anxiety.

She could hear her roommate, Matt, in the kitchen and successfully wiggled her way out of bed without waking Chris. She cursed herself for being a coward and not staying to in bed to face the music.

Usually when Christopher spent the night at her place, she would throw on his shirt and bring him some breakfast and coffee. They would cuddle and hide out in her room. She wasn’t sure if the same rules applied now, though. She looked around and opted for her fluffy pink robe instead. Besides, their clothes from last night were probably still on the living floor.

She tiptoed out and fetched his clothes then left them on the end of the bed for him. She swallowed hard and took one last look at him sleeping peacefully. She resisted the urge to crawl back into her bed and have him hold her close.

She quickly scurried out to the kitchen before she made the situation worse. Besides, she needed caffeine in the worst way.

“Mornin’, Wifey, what’s for breakfast?”

“Ugh, don’t call me that, Matt, it grosses me out.” Abby tightened her robe and went make some coffee.

“Ha! Thanks.” her roommate pretended to be offended and clutched his heart.

Matt lived to bust her chops. But it took him two seconds to sense that she was on edge about something and wanted to lighten the mood.

“I thought you were spending the night with Mary?...wait, no, Monica?”

“Close. Maria....and no. Her husband is in town.” he sheepishly confessed.

“Nice.” she sarcastically volleyed back and rolled her eyes.

Abby actually had high hopes that this girl would stick. Matt had seen her about a half dozen times in the past month. Using the “Matt dating metric”, he and Maria were practically engaged. She should have known that it wasn’t going to go anywhere, but held out hope that her friend would get his life in order at some point.

Matt was eight years older than Abby, but in a lot of ways she was like a mom or older sister to him.

“Where’s Captain Hollywood?”

She didn’t answer him and continued looking for the coffee beans.

“We’re all out, Abbs...I’ll pick some up in a bit.”

“For real!” she pouted and ignored the smirk on his face. She was one more disappointment away from bawling her eyes out like one of her nieces.

“Seriously, though, I invested in some pretty sweet noise cancelling headphones so, like the awesome friend I am, I wouldn’t have to listen to my platonic BF bumpin’ uglies in the other room.”

He started chuckling as a wide eyed shocked expression slowly spread across his roommates face. It dawned on her just how loud her and Christopher had been last night and she was mortified. She'd had no idea that Matt was even home.

“BUT!” he continued with great amusement. “That said bestie stole said headphones and I was forced to-”

“Shit. They’re in my gym bag. I didn’t know you were home. When are you ever home on a Saturday night?...how much did you hear?”

Matt gave her his charming innocent smile that usually worked on about half the female population of Los Angeles and tried to shrug off the question. Unfortunately for him, his charms were lost on Abby and she stared him down and demanded an answer.

“Not much.” he puffed out a laugh at the pointed look she gave him. “Okay, maybe a little...a smidgen.”

“I don’t believe you for a second, you devient!” she challenged with laughter in her voice and threw a nearby dish towel in his face.

Matt _“I need a place to crash for a bit after my divorce”_ Ross. Lies. It had turned into a fairly permanent living arrangement. They’d shared her two bedroom apartment for close to a year now and she had to admit it’s worked out better than she thought it would.

They had movie and facial nights and he usually had dinner waiting for her after a long day of work, if he wasn’t hooking up with his constant revolving door of female conquests, that is. He was like having a girlfriend and husband all rolled into one. Minus the sex of course. As much of a lady killer as Matt was, the thought had never crossed her mind.

He joked that it had crossed his mind once or twice. He couldn’t help it he was a guy; a guy that had let his penis lead him into some pretty horrible mistakes in the past.

But that was just the kind of friendship the two of them had. They were always open and honest with each other. Matt was like the little brother that she never had, even though he was older than she was. Abby was the only person that consistently forgave all of his fuck ups. After his divorce, he had pretty much been enemy number one with everyone else in his life. Unfortunately, that also included his 16 year old daughter.  He wasn’t going to ruin the only friend he had by trying to sleep with her.

Chris wasn’t too thrilled about her living with another guy. But his best friend was a woman, so he couldn’t say much without sounding like a hypocrite. Besides, if it wasn’t for Matt, the two of them never would have met in the first place.

“Seriously, Abbs, does _‘you're mine!’_ in a deep Batman voice really work on chicks?”

He started to chuckle at the deep blush that began to burn on her cheeks. Her big blue eyes were wide with surprise. He really had been listening to them.

“He does _not_ sound like Batman.” she was humiliated and wished the ground would open up and swallow her.

Matt just continued to laugh at her.

“Shit, you really heard us, didn’t you?”

“Yup. More than once.” he teased. “You never struck me as the 50 Shades type. I’m surprised that kinda thing works. Maybe I should try it on the ladies sometime?”

“Works? Surprised what works? It’s not like there was safe words and whips and shit.”

 _“You’re mine”_ Matt mimicked his best Christian Bale Batman voice.

“Fuck off. He does not sound like that, asshole.” she threw the matching dish towel at her laughing friend, but he caught it before it hit his face.

“Ha! I can’t believe that shit works…”

“Well, it depends.” she shrugged and smirked at Matt’s curiously raised eyebrows. She had his attention.

“On what?”

“On whether or not it’s true.” she looked him in the eye and playfully challenged. She knew talking about her sex life would gross him out and it was working.

“So you’re his? You belong to him? You’re hippy feminist parents would be so proud of you.” he teased.

“Meh.”

Maybe it was true? Did she belong to Christopher? She was just teasing Matt. But last night Chris had held her face inches from his and had demanded that she repeat that she was _“his”_ over and over again. She blushed remembering how she had answered willingly; how she had looked into his intense blue eyes and had agreed with him every time he asked. Every time the words had passed her lips, he had fucked her harder and harder. At the time, it hadn't felt like a lie. Just the memory was making her wet.

“Damn, girl. Captain Hollywood has really done a number on you, huh? Where did you go right now?...nevermind! Nevermind, don’t tell me I don’t wanna know!”

Abby looked around for something eat and tried not to think about what was waiting for her in her bedroom.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Hellcat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris wakes up without Abby there beside him, but he isn’t exactly alone.

 

Chris woke up slowly and reached for Abby. A part of him knew that she wouldn’t be there beside him, but reaching out for her first thing in the morning had become a force of habit. Even when he was home in Boston and she was working in LA, there was always a subconscious part of him that longed to have her close to his body when he first woke up.

He knew he was falling in love with her when waking up without her head on his chest gave him an empty feeling that he couldn’t shake. When they were away from each other he felt her absence down to his bones.

Waking up alone gave him some time to think. What was he going to do? He replayed the previous night in his mind and felt the bomb that she dropped on him all over again.

He reached out for her empty pillow and hugged it close. The comforting and intoxicating scent of her apple scented shampoo still clung to it. He hoped that she was making them coffee like she usually does and not avoiding him.

Fuck, he felt so stupid. Of course she wasn’t still there beside him. He spent the night practically begging her to stay with him like a whiney little bitch. Not exactly the manliest thing he’s ever done. Captain America would be ashamed of the way he acted.

Chris hated to admit that since he career took off with Marvel, things have come far too easily to him. But not Abby. No, she didn’t come easily at all. He figured the things that really mattered in life rarely do. But he was holding on to her too tight. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.

Last night was intense. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what to do, there was too much going on in his head. His whole body felt sore like he just ran a marathon or got tortured at the gym. Last nights sexual exploits had exhausted his body, but that was nothing compared to the aching disappointment in his chest.

He had the whole evening planned out so perfectly. He was just about to pull that stupid ring out of his pocket when Abby blurted out that she thought they should break up.

Chris thought for sure if he was going to wake up sore and achy with scratches down his back it would be from celebrating all night with his new fiancee.

He had an odd feeling creep up on him like he was being watched and slowly turned his head. A startled fright made his body tremble as he looked into the eyes of his green eyed feline nemesis. **_Ozzy._ **

Great. This was not what he needed right now. He scowled at Abby’s old grey tabby Scottish fold. Without missing a beat, Ozzy accepted the challenge and narrowed his green eyes back at Chris.

It wasn’t just that Chris was a dog guy, because he totally was. But he didn’t hate all cats for the sake of simply being loyal strictly to K9’s. Cats were fine. Not really his cup of tea, but fine nonetheless. But Ozzy was different, he was the oldest, meanest cat Chris has come across in a long time. Abby’s old ugly cat wasn’t interested in bonding with him. Ozzy never let Chris anywhere near him let alone pet him.

To make matters worse Ozzy was Abby’s guard cat and barely left her side when she was home. That cat did everything he could to get between them and squatted and growled at him every chance he got. That’s right. GROWLED. He didn’t even know that cats did that. The mutual hatred between the two was strong, Chris resisted the urge to growl back at the ill tempered fur bag.

Abby moved from Vermont to LA five years ago to look after her grandmother after her heart attack. When things to a turn for the worse Abby inherited Ozzy. Abby and her grandmother were pretty close and apparently her grandmother loved that ugly old cat like one of her own children.

For as independent a woman as Abby is, it was always cool for Chris to see her sweet softer side come out. Whenever she is around kids, Ozzy, or Dodger, she turns to mush and his mind goes straight to a white picket fence in Boston.

“Mornin’ Oz. Bite any heads off of any bats lately?...No? I guess it’s still early.” Chris rolled over onto his side and balled up Abby’s pillow under his head. Why is he picking fights with the damn cat now?

Ozzy’s back slowly arched and he let out a familiar hiss in Chris’s direction.

“Don’t worry Oz. It doesn’t look like we’re all gunna be a big happy family any time soon. You win this round.”

The old mean cat jumped off the bed and snaked his way through a small crack in the door, presumably to find Abby.

Chris hoped Abby was okay and wondered if he should get out of bed to find her himself. He was starting to get worried about her. He remembered how freaked out and sad she was during dinner. He was too for that matter. He sat there at dinner ready to propose and couldn’t believe that he was going to lose her. He had just picked out her engagement ring that morning and couldn’t wait to give it to her. He decided that he wanted forever with her and couldn’t get his brain around the fact that she was tearing up and saying goodbye before he even got down on one knee.

Neither of them were particularly gentle with each other when he went to drop her off. He felt devastated and defeated and was ready to give up and go home. He was going to drown his sorrows and maybe call his therapist in the morning. He hasn’t felt the need for a session since before he signed with Marvel.

He didn’t think that he was going to end up spending the night with her. But he didn’t expect Abby to kiss him the way she did. It set something loose inside him. His fingers were inside her and she had half of his clothes off before they got to her room. Everything was a frenzy of teeth and tongues. They were rough as they clawed and manhandled each other, it was so emotional and raw. He didn’t hold back in the slightest, even the second time they had sex he gave it his all until he was physically exhausted.

Maybe he was too rough? The thought of hurting her was abhorrent to him. That wasn’t his goal. He just wanted to savor every second with her and was trying to make her love him again. He wanted to be worthy of her and worship her the way that she deserved.  He adjusted his morning erection and remembered how she didn’t hold back either and begging him not to stop. He replayed in his mind how beautiful she looked every time he made her come. He wondered if last night had changed her mind at all?

Laying there alone in her bed thinking of her made his chest ache. He was praying that she was having second thoughts about ending things. Last night, as amazing as it was, can’t be the last time they make love.

Sex with her always felt like more. Even before he fell in love with her, he knew that the sex with her was the way it was supposed to be. She makes sex real and fun. He never feels like he is playing a role, he never wonders if she is fucking him or Steve Rogers. Or worse, fucking his back account. He can be his authentic self with her and gets the same from her in turn. It’s so freeing.

He has been with his fair share of woman, but Abby is different. Abby doesn’t fake a single sound or reaction, everything about that woman is authentic. So many women in his past have felt the need to stroke his ego and make him believe he was some kind of sex god. It was empty and fake and ultimately made him feel detached from them.

He still jerks off to the memory of Abby getting out her vibrator and unabashedly finishing herself off when he failed to make her come early on in their relationship. It was amazing.

He realized how different and special their sex life was before he fell for her. Now adding love into the mix has changed him forever.

Now he gets such satisfaction and pride from making Abby come. They communicate and know each other’s bodies so well. Being with her never gets boring. She’s shown him how much he was missing in his life and in his bed. She’s turned into his safe place. He wouldn’t trade the connection that the two of them have for a playboy mansion full of bunnies.

He wanted her in his life so badly but has battled with his ego ever since the day they met on set. She was visiting her friend Matt on the last movie he directed and starred in, and boy did she ever catch his eye. Matt was hired to rewrite a few scenes, and the suggestions that Abby made to him had Chris loving the movie he was making even more. He is convinced that she was a big reason why the movie was picked up and why it has since been hyped to be a success. Abby did all of it without being paid a cent and refused to accept a writing credit. Chris was fascinated with her right from the beginning.

Abby was adorable and refreshingly upfront with him the first time he asked her out. She let him down easy and kindly informed him that she didn’t date actors or celebrities. The “it’s not you it’s me” approach. After a little playful coaxing Abby confessed to him that the celeb side of his life made her feel uncomfortable. Truthfully, he didn’t want much to do with that side of his life either. Acting was one thing, making movies was his passion. Press and the media was a whole different animal altogether.

He has dated woman before that felt the same way as Abby. But they usually lived in Boston and it was easier to keep their relationships on the downlow. But Abby lived here in LA. The pressure here was _unreal_. Not only that, Abby worked as a news producer and knew the stakes all too well.

He was aware of where she stood from the start. But in the end, that didn’t stop him from wanting her. In fact her humbleness made her more appealing to him.

He understood how she felt about his fame and tried to respect it. He really did. They were just friends for awhile before she agreed to go out with him. That “just friends” period was nice, but the more he got to know her, the more that knowledge fed his need for her.

Abby was just so honest and real. She was kind and smart and made him laugh. He loved it when she busted his chops, which happened on a regular basis. Plus, he just couldn’t resist her and her big blue eyes. Making her smile became a his soul focus whenever they were together. And if he was being truly honest with himself the fact that she didn’t just fall into his bed when they first met made him want her a lot more.

There was this way about her that got to him, she just stood out amongst the sea of women he’s met in his life. Abby was hot as fuck, but real in a way that mesmerized him. She looked at him like a regular guy almost from the beginning. She was star struck at first but seemed to get over it quickly. It didn’t take her long to see through all the bullshit. Seeing through bullshit is sorta her thing.

During their “just friends” period he found himself hooking up with woman that looked just like her. It was his shallow attempt to get her out of his system. Abby didn’t want to date an actor so he tried to move on and accept his defeat.

But, usually the following morning after those hook ups, he would check his phone and see that Abby had tweeted out something funny or clever and a warm feeling spread throughout his chest. Then he would sadly look over at the fake substitute in his bed and long for the real thing.

He tried to convince himself that the sparks that he felt between him and Abby when they hung out were just in his head. Those lingering looks and hugs that lasted a little bit too long, must be wishful thinking on his part. He tried not to get too hopeful when they texted each other multiple times a day or talked on the phone until the sun came up. They flirted constantly but she always put the brakes on before it went too far.

But after some pep talks from his brother and a few of his friends, he decided to give it another shot and ask her out again. Everyone close to him was tired of watching him moping around for weeks. They planted the idea in his head that maybe Abby would have a change of heart now that they have been friends for awhile and knew the real him. He was more nervous than any audition, but it was worth a shot.

He asked her out again expecting to be rejected, but she surprised him and agreed. He was so excited and did not play it cool in the slightest, but she seemed to appreciate his over the top dorky reaction. He felt like he had just won an Academy Award and should make an acceptance speech.

After that, dating her was like getting hit by a freight train. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. He was so thankful that he was in between projects and got to stay in one place. Getting to know her was not disappointing at all. He counted down the hours till she got off work everyday. They would stare up at the stars for hours laughing and talking. Early on, holding her hand was enough for him and touched his heart in a way that he’s not sure he’s felt before.

He was completely comfortable bringing up topics that he would never discuss with his close circle of family and friends. But with Abby, it all came easily. He trusted her and loved getting to know her and just be around her. She was a little guarded at first but the more she let him in the more he wanted to know. She was, and still is, his favorite subject.

That night when she fell asleep on his chest outside in his hammock played heavy on his mind. He wished he could go back in time and feel that way all over again. If he had to pinpoint a moment in history when he first realized he was in love with her, it would be that night.

Being with Abby calmed his mind in a way that used to require so much time and effort on his part. Being with her was the part of the puzzle he was missing before. She anchored him to the world in a way that he hasn’t felt since his childhood. As far as he was concerned she was “the one.”

But Abby made it clear to him from day one where she stood about his lifestyle. She was just too damn irresistible, he ended up falling for her anyway. They talked about her fears often and he tried to reassure her that he would do everything in his power protect her privacy. They carefully snuck around when they went out in public and his people were working hard to keep both of their names out of the papers.

He convinced himself that one day, when the time came and they were ready, she would find a way to deal with the media pressure that came with his fame. He saw a future with her, the day would have to come eventually.

Abby was on of the toughest and smartest people he’s ever met, he had every faith that she would somehow find a way to rise to the occasion when the time came. Abby always put her family and the people in her life first and assumed that she would do what needed to be done when they decided to go public with their relationship.

In Chris’s heart he truly thought that she would choose him over her fears. Unfortunately when she cited her family as one of the main reasons why they should break up Chris knew that she was serious. Abby would do anything for her parents and sisters, including giving up her own happiness.

He should have listened to her when they first met. But back then he didn’t love her, he just wanted her. He wasn’t truly listening, not the way he should have. Now he was all in, body and soul. In six short months she had become the most important person in his life.  He loved her more than he ever thought he would love another person and wanted to make her his wife.

He must have known that something like this would happen. He knew how she felt about the spotlight but foolishly hoped he could just love it all away. He fell in love with a girl knowing full well that they might never work out. He just hoped that he could be enough for her. But maybe he isn’t enough?

He tried to listen to what his heart was trying to tell him. Her needs mattered more than his own. It hurt like hell, but he started to consider that maybe he should let her go and hope that she found happiness without him. That would be the right thing to do, right?

He let the idea of letting her go bounce around his brain and it felt like a knife twisting in his gut. The pain was so real his face contorted in pain.

Maybe he deserved this heartache? Woman throw themselves at him daily. Well, not really _him_. Not the real him. He rejects them all as kindly as he can. Now the woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with might be rejecting him. It was humbling to have the shoe on the other foot. To be the only chasing instead of the one chased. Abby held all the cards, he had willingly given her the power to completely break his heart.

Chris lay there alone in her bed and figured she wasn’t bringing him coffee. Maybe last night was break up sex to her and he was overstaying his welcome?

It was time to face the music. He heard Abby and Matt talking in the kitchen and rolled his eyes. Matt Ross was not his favourite person. Matt caused so much drama during the filming of his last movie, just hearing his name gave Chris a headache. He didn’t know what Abby saw in him. Matt was a talented writer and had this funny bad boy thing going on, but he left a trail of destruction behind him. But Abby was still loyal to him. She had this way of taking in strays and making them family. Matt and Ozzy were proof of that. Chris couldn’t be that mad at her for it, it was part of her charm.

He found his clothes at the foot of the bed and dressed quickly. The cat was laying in the hallway just outside the door and hissed at him as he stepped over him. Chris padded slowly and carefully towards the voices and tried to make out what they were talking about. Abby sounded freaked out again. His heart sank in his chest. That’s not a good sign.

“We’re not talking about this Matt.”

“You dumped him? _Ho-ly shiiit!_ Your mother is going to kill you! Dead Abby walkin’! You just crushed that woman's dreams of superhero grandchildren.”

Abby didn’t answer him but Chris could see her chewing on her bottom lip. She was about to cry, he could tell. Chris could feel her pain radiating off her from the hallway. He wasn’t sure if he should make his presence known or give her space.

“Please don’t Matt...just please.” her voice started to break and Ozzy started purring and rubbing against her legs seemingly sensing her pain. “I don’t want to talk about this okay.”

Matt’s face fell and he stopped laughing at her. Chris tried to stay calm as he watched Matt walk over and wrap his arms around her and pull her into a hug. Chris wanted to be the one that held her, especially now. He didn’t trust Matt in the slightest and knew that Abby was vulnerable and emotional and didn’t want to see her get taken advantage of. Matt had a reputation, a reputation that Abby seemed to either forgive or ignore.

“I thought...fuck Abbs I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole. I just thought…”

“You thought what?” she pulled away and wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her pink house robe.

“I thought you were happy? You told me this guy was legit?” Matt studied her sad face. “What? Is he fucking around on you?... Fuck Abbs, am I gunna have to go all Bane on his ass? I’m pretty sure I can get a few good hits in before he robs me of my dignity. All that Cap shit is just fake right?” Matt suddenly looked concerned for his safety.

Matt covered his mouth with his hands and tried to imitate Bane’s voice. _‘We’ll see what breaks first his spirit or his body!’_ ”

Abby rolled her eyes at the terrible impression. She wasn’t going to live this down this Batman thing any time soon.

Matt transitioned from imitating Bane to Bruce Lee. He started hopping around and pretended to karate chop an invisible enemy, complete with sound effects and facial expressions. He was trying to make her smile and it was working. Abby reluctantly puffed out a laugh and Ozzy took off to his spot on the window seat to sunbathe.

“Hey, I’m a lover not a fighter but no one breaks my platonic wifey’s heart...what kind of an idiot cheats on you? You’re smokin! I promise I won’t let you turn into a crazy cat lady.” Matt was enjoying his fake karate fight a little too much and started karate chopping her playfully instead of the air.  She smacked him back as Chris watched quietly from the hallway.

“Captain Hollywood has had one too many fiji waters and spicy tuna rolls if he doesn’t see how awesome you are.”

“Oh my god Matt stop! It’s nothing like that.” she motioned for him to stop is karate chopping before he knocked something over. “Christopher isn’t like that, he’s not cheating. Besides, I’m the one that lives on sushi and all of that pretentious water in the fridge is yours my friend.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Just don’t make me talk about it ok.” Matt gave her a pointed disappointed look and Abby looked like she was going to start crying again.  

“I fucked up... I’m good at that.” she confessed with a small voice and sniffed “Christopher didn’t do anything. You should go all Bane on my ass…” The two roommates looked at each other and started laughing at how ridiculous that sounded.

Chris smirked to himself as well. Maybe all of this was salvageable? He loved the sound of her laugh.

“I don’t know what I want.” Abby confessed to her roommate “I probably lost him. I don’t really blame him, I’m a mess.”

Chris cleared his throat and made his presence known. It broke his heart to see her jump and hide her face from him. They needed to sort things out. He hated seeing her this way, he’d give anything to fix it.

“I’ll let you two crazy kids talk. I gotta get this little addict her caffeine fix anyway.” Matt gave her a sympathetic nod and grabbed his keys off the table.

Chris and Abby stood there in the kitchen looking into each others sad blue eyes until they heard the front door open and close and they were confident they were alone.

“You didn't lose me Abby.” Chris broke the silence as he stepped towards her. His voice was rich and full of patience. “Did I lose you? Are we over?”

She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't seem to form words. She froze. The longer she stood there not answering him the more devastated Chris became. He ran his hand down his face in frustration.

She felt her eyes well up with fresh warm tears. She loved this man. What was her problem?

She closed her eyes and searched her heart for an answer. She took a deep breath, but before she opened her eyes she was startled by the sounds of Chris yelling and screaming in pain.

Holy shit, Ozzy came out of nowhere and was attacking him.

“OZZY!” Abby yelled loud and lunged for her cat as he frantically batted his paws and clawed up Chris’s leg.

“Jesus Christ!” Chris was doing his best to shake off the angry cat without hurting him, but Ozzy was on a mission.

“Oh my god! Ozzy stop!” Abby managed to pry her growling cat off of him. “I’m so sorry baby. Bad boy Ozzy!”

“What the fuck!” Chris moaned in pain.

“I got him... I’ll protect you Cap.” Abby pressed her lips together to keep from giggling over the absurdity of her cats timing.

Chris was still cursing and dancing around in pain while Abby took the cat to Matt’s room and left him on the bed. Ozzy was still growling as Abby closed the door and safely penned him in.

“Are you okay Evans? I’m so so sorry. Are you okay? ”

“Fuckin’ hellcat.” he muttered to himself. He tried to play it cool but the cat had really scratched up his leg. “I think I’m all torn up. What the fuck was that about?”

“He’s protective.” she apologetically shrugged. “...and an asshole.”

“No shit... I doubt Dodger would even wake up if someone broke into my place. I pity anyone that tries to mess with you.” he winced in pain and Abby sprinted to the nearby bathroom to get her first aid kit.

“Take your pants off.” she ordered and pulled out a chair for him to sit on.

Chris smirked and shook his head. He couldn’t believe this was happening, but complied. He dropped his pants and took a seat as she knelt down on the floor in front of him. His heart swelled at the look of concern on her face when she saw the cuts, a few of them were bleeding.

“Cat scratches ain't nuthing ta fuck with.” she said to his leg and prepared some disinfectant.

“Ozzy ain’t nuthing ta fuck with.” he teased back in his strong Boston accent.

“Well if there is anyone that could take out Captain America, my money is on my grandmother's cat.”

He puffed out a small laugh and watched her kneeling on the floor in front of him. He couldn’t believe how much he loved her. His chest hurt as he let himself feel it all. He tried to memorize every single beautiful detail of her face. This was the Abby that he knew and loved. She was joking around and her big blue eyes were shining with love and concern, they always took his breath away.

It felt like they were the only two people in the world. All of their troubles felt so far away, he wanted to stay in her kitchen like that as long as possible. He couldn’t stomach the idea of losing her. But he tried to man up and brace himself for a crushing disappointment.

“...this might sting a bit.” she warned.

Without thinking, he reached down and brushed some of her hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. He just had to touch her.

Abby looked up and gave him a sweet small smile and a nod. He swallowed hard and watched her continue caring for his leg.

“It might…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my lovelies!! xo

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on Tumblr at @heather-lynn. I love your guts!


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